My Pitcher

I LOVE BASEBALL! Many parents find this sport boring but not me! I loved watching my brother play growing up...and then loved it so much in High School I decided to earn my PE credit by becoming the team statistician. This of course had NOTHING to do with being able to travel around with the team and go to all of their events. I wasn't attracted to any of those stinky ball players :)! HA! Really though...I do love it.

Tyler started his 6th season of baseball a few weeks ago. Saturday was our 2nd game of this fall season. Gabe decided to put the boys in fall ball this year since they are moving up to a new division in the spring (kid pitch). I've heard from other parents that this first season can be a dangerous one for all...since the batters often get hit by the pitcher. Ty normally plays catcher and really enjoys it. The boys (dad and Ty) had been telling me all week that Ty was going to pitch this week. I just blew them off because I really didn't know that Ty had it in him. I also knew Gabe wouldn't put him out there until he was really ready and from what little I had seen in the backyard....he wasn't there yet. (Guess that's what I get for missing practices)

So...after the 3rd inning...off came the catchers equipment......and Ty took the mound. For whatever reason...I felt as if I was going to vomit. My baby....who seems like just yesterday was hitting a ball off of a tee and barely knowing which direction to run once he did....was about to pitch!

I think he felt like he was going to vomit as well by the looks of his face. I'd never EVER seen him so focused. I don't know that I've ever seen such a serious...intense look on his face.

He successfully pitched the whole inning and even managed to throw a few strike outs AND as you can see below...finally relaxed a bit and put that smile I normally always see back on his face.

While I'm so proud of my pitcher...I'm also saddened that he's where he is. They just grow up TOO darn fast. I wish I could find pictures of his first season to show how much he's grown. I'll go on a search for them and eventually will post them here for you.

Tyler, mom is so very proud of you and loves you more than words can express!

Mia

Mia- July 2008

I've had this post on my heart for some time now. Actually...before I even started the blog. I knew I needed to share it here. As much as I’d like to put it out of my memory…I can’t and I won’t. I am reminded daily of the happenings I will tell you about below.

We decided to take the family to Cancun this year for our summer vacation. We traveled there with another family and had started planning it 6 months before. This was Mia’s first trip to a real “beach” and she loved it. The beach was beautiful. On day 2, we finally left our comfy spot at the pool and ventured out to the beach.

Mia had such a blast playing in the waves (as you can see above). She’d let them hit her ankles and then fall into the sand as if they had knocked her over. I spent the majority of our vacation taking pictures (obviously).
The older kids were having a blast attempting to build a sandcastle, Dad was helping pack sand…and I of course was busy snapping pictures. I sat down for a brief second to change the batteries in my camera. Bear with me here as my memory of the next five minutes is clouded as things happened so fast. None of us are sure how many seconds or minutes my “brief second” really was. When I sat down….Mia was here…..

The next thing I remember….Tyler yells “Mom/Dad….Mia is gone”.



Mia was gone.

That beautiful ocean was no longer beautiful to us.

I can remember Gabe running into the water…me not knowing if he saw Mia or was just searching.
I couldn’t move….I can remember praying “dear God, NO! NO! NO! I WILL NOT give her up!”

He quickly returned with our angel….she was shaking…scared…I couldn’t let go of her. I could only sit there with her in my arms and cry with her.
Needless to say….we didn’t swim in the ocean for the remainder of the vacation.

The following day both of the girls and I were walking to kids club. I was a little nervous about leaving Mia. The water park wasn’t any deeper than her ankles (with no waves) but the happenings the day before left me terrified. Ky could sense I was nervous as I was telling her that she was big sis and really needed to stay with Mia at all times. They both really wanted to go for the craft time but I more than anything wanted them with me.

Ky calmly said, “Mom…please don’t take this the wrong way but you know that if God is ready to take Mia and it’s her time….there is nothing that we can do to stop it”. ?!?!?!

What did my 10 year old just say to me??? As tears began to flow I had no words to respond. Luckily, my dear friend Emily later explained to Ky about our choices and that we can make choices that sometimes lead to consequences that aren’t always welcome. Thank you, Emily! I was speechless. ….We moved past all of this and did make the best of the remainder of our time together in Mexico.

When we finally returned to Dallas I was so grateful to bring our three children safely home with us. I couldn’t wait until Sunday came so that I could be in God’s house and THANK HIM that I still had my babies. We were running a little late so I asked Gabe to check the kids in so I could go save a seat. I needed to be there that day…more than any other…and wanted to be as close to the front as I could.

I quickly made my way in and landed on the 4th row. The earlier service had run long so this one still had a few minutes before starting. The moment I sat down the presence of the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me. I uncontrollably gasped for air. I began to deeply breathe…to take in His presence.

We began to move into worship and then into Pastor Bryan’s sermon, “YES, Lord!”

I’m thinking… “Oh goodness…I just yelled NO! NO! NO! to God less than a week ago….here we go....” I knew right then....this sermon was written for me :) He began to speak out of Matthew 9…about faith and trust. About trusting God when He’s leading us but our path isn’t clear. I took three things from that service:

1) I can’t move to the next place God want me to be without leaving where I am today (this one is a BIG challenge to me….I don’t like change)

2) I have to leave what is secure to move to the next level

3) When God gives me an opportunity… I don’t have forever to seize it.

Long story short...I took God’s challenge that morning….I renewed my faith and committed to move to the next level with Him.

Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.


Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee,
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise;
Take my intellect and use
Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.

I can tell you that today…I’m still amazed. I’m amazed by the God we serve. I’ve followed so many other journeys of mom’s who weren’t able to keep their blessings. Honestly, I do ask Him at times. “God, why me? Why am I so special to you?”
I told you earlier of the grief I often carry for Angie. And then there is Sumi. She lost her dear Jenna to a drowning accident.

Thank you Lord for the blessings you have given me! You never cease to amaze me.

If you made it this far with me…thank you for letting me share with you.
You see...Mia has this special gift...she is the master at pushing mommy's "buttons". But now what were previously my hot spots...are not longer hot spots. I am thankful for every moment with my Mia...even if she's attempting to aggravate me. God allowed me to keep my Mia here with me on earth ...and I must enjoy every moment of my time with her.
-Tiffany

He knows the plans that He has for us. They are all to prosper us and not to harm us.
(Jeremiah 29:11)

Thank you, Angie!

Okay…so I made it back in less than a week this time (barely)! Kids are still loving school, the new nanny and their time at home on the weekends. Our weeknights stay busy with homework, baseball practice and competition dance practice.

As promised in my first post, I’ve got lots to “catch up” on. I’ll start by sharing a little about what led me to the blog world. I started lurking on several others blogs about a year or so ago. I’ve followed many others journey’s through life, learned about their families, and even got to “know” some well enough to feel connected. Sounds strange…I know.

So, one of my many sleepless nights I somehow stumbled upon THIS blog site (BUT WAIT!!! Don’t link there yet….or you won’t come back) :)
I spent the following 3 ½ hours starting at the beginning of her story. 3 ½ LONG hours weeping, questioning God, praying, dazed and confused as to why something so tragic could happen to such an amazing family. A family that seemed so dedicated to Him. But what left me even more confused was the fact that this family continued to praise Him…if fact….seemed to clearly understand God’s plan and praised Him for it. I can’t begin to put into words the emotion that this story has brought to me.

Unfortunately, the following morning I had a 6 am flight to catch and would be away from my family for a few nights. I’ve traveled so much for work this year that I’m now platinum status on AA so being away has just become part of our “routine”. Gabe becomes an amazing “Mr. Mom” when I travel and keeps the kids so entertained they don’t think twice about me being gone. But this trip was different. My heart was heavy with grief for Angie. Years ago I could relate to Angie and her fear of flying but nowadays for me it’s just as common as driving. Again, this flight was different. My heart was full of fear. I was at a place in my life that I had just started to work to rebuild my relationship with God. If this could happen to someone so committed to Him….??? You get the point.

Needless to say…I had lots to say to God over the course of the next several weeks. I checked Angie’s site daily as I began to learn so much from her. After “getting to know” her a little better it became apparent while her relationship with God was strong she still had days of anger, hurt, and mourning.

I could continue for hours sharing with you all that I’ve learned from her but I’ll let you read her families story for yourself. She is truly blessed with communicating and I couldn’t begin to retell her story as she did. If you’re pressed for time at least watch THIS amazing video that tells her story.

So rewind many years…..Long story shortened a bit, I gave my life to Jesus as a child and experienced my childhood as a growing Christian with a strong foundation at home. I loved to be in church, learn more about Him and surround myself by others who felt the same way. I vowed to continue in my faith and planned to only grow closer to him. I also prayed about my choices and mostly made the choices that seemed to honor Him. Never did I imagine things would be any different for me. I dreamed of going to college, meeting a strong Christian man, starting a family and living happily ever after. Well…those of you who know me know that things didn’t exactly work out that way. As I moved away from the strong foundation I grew up in I quickly began to drift away from God.

So here I am 13 year later….returned home from my trip….kids safely in bed. Angie had recommended a few different versions of the Bible that she enjoys so I picked one of them up at Mardel’s. Still carrying grief for her sweet soul…I prayed and prayed and prayed. I began to study God’s word. I looked forward to that evening time after the kids were in bed and I could have quiet time. We had recently started attending a local church as a family….I counted down the days until Sunday came. One evening I began reading in I John. I quickly began to remember the words that I once memorized…at one point I could recite the whole book (yes…I know it’s only 5 chapters).

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” I John 1:9

There is was….in black and white. It was there, that night, which it became reality to me that the forgiving God I knew as a child is the same forgiving God today. Yes, I made poor choices. After all I’ve been divorced. God wanted to forgive me for straying away and making choices in life that did not honor him. I just needed to ASK.
I’ve been through so many battles over the last several years…all in which I knew God was there for me but my relationship wasn’t where it really needed to be. I didn’t truly trust Him…I didn’t give it all to Him….I tried to keep it in and handle it all on my own.

Thank you God for not giving up on me. Thank you for allowing me to remarry and trusting me with my three precious blessings. Thank you for the wisdom and courage that you give me to be the mom that I need to be.

Lastly, back to the reason for this post THANK YOU ANGIE!!!
Thank you for opening your heart…
For sharing your life with so many….
For your willingness to let us into a space that is so private.
For your faith in HIM.

Your precious Audrey Caroline will never be forgotten because of the time you have taken to use her life to lead others to HIM.

First Day of School (two weeks later)

I started this blog almost two weeks ago with the intent of posting daily or at least every other day…funny huh!
I’m a faithful reader of many other blogs that do a much better job of keeping up than I have so far. Hopefully I will get better at it as time goes. I have thought through several different entries just haven't carved out the time to get them here yet.

So, the first day of school came and YES mom was a bit emotional but not until they were all dropped off. Tyler and Mia started the year at a new elementary school that was just built in our neighborhood. Many of the teachers from their school last year are on staff there which made the transition easier. Kylyn started intermediate school this year and loves it. She was a little worried about adjusting into lockers and class change but has done great. We are fortunate that they have good teachers this year (so far). That’s always the scariest part of starting a new year for them and more so for me. Since Gabe and I both work full time we elected several years ago that rather than sending the kids to daycare or in home care we would hire someone to keep the kids in our home. Our nanny searches are never easy and take a lot of time and energy. We have an extensive application that they usually fill out and they are also requested to sign a release which gives us permission to run a background check and driving history. All that must be done before they are even invited for an interview. We invest a lot into the search as we trust this person with our most important possessions. But yet when it comes to sending them to school….all we have is prayer. We must trust that God is in control and will protect our children when we can not be around to do so.

We must trust that the school district put the time/energy into finding good teachers. It doesn’t always work out that way. For the most part we’ve been fortunate with the exception of our 4th grade teacher last year…and we’ll just say we are grateful that is behind us. They have all three adjusted well to our school year routine of bedtimes and early morning starts. Their summer nanny moved back to college and we were fortunate to quickly fine a great part time nanny. She was referred to us by our pastor’s wife and her family is very involved in our church….so that helped with the comfort level right away. SO....things are off to a good start this school year. I quickly snapped a few photos as we were headed out the first day. It makes me sad that they are growing up so fast!

May you have a blessed week!!