Thank you, Angie!

Okay…so I made it back in less than a week this time (barely)! Kids are still loving school, the new nanny and their time at home on the weekends. Our weeknights stay busy with homework, baseball practice and competition dance practice.

As promised in my first post, I’ve got lots to “catch up” on. I’ll start by sharing a little about what led me to the blog world. I started lurking on several others blogs about a year or so ago. I’ve followed many others journey’s through life, learned about their families, and even got to “know” some well enough to feel connected. Sounds strange…I know.

So, one of my many sleepless nights I somehow stumbled upon THIS blog site (BUT WAIT!!! Don’t link there yet….or you won’t come back) :)
I spent the following 3 ½ hours starting at the beginning of her story. 3 ½ LONG hours weeping, questioning God, praying, dazed and confused as to why something so tragic could happen to such an amazing family. A family that seemed so dedicated to Him. But what left me even more confused was the fact that this family continued to praise Him…if fact….seemed to clearly understand God’s plan and praised Him for it. I can’t begin to put into words the emotion that this story has brought to me.

Unfortunately, the following morning I had a 6 am flight to catch and would be away from my family for a few nights. I’ve traveled so much for work this year that I’m now platinum status on AA so being away has just become part of our “routine”. Gabe becomes an amazing “Mr. Mom” when I travel and keeps the kids so entertained they don’t think twice about me being gone. But this trip was different. My heart was heavy with grief for Angie. Years ago I could relate to Angie and her fear of flying but nowadays for me it’s just as common as driving. Again, this flight was different. My heart was full of fear. I was at a place in my life that I had just started to work to rebuild my relationship with God. If this could happen to someone so committed to Him….??? You get the point.

Needless to say…I had lots to say to God over the course of the next several weeks. I checked Angie’s site daily as I began to learn so much from her. After “getting to know” her a little better it became apparent while her relationship with God was strong she still had days of anger, hurt, and mourning.

I could continue for hours sharing with you all that I’ve learned from her but I’ll let you read her families story for yourself. She is truly blessed with communicating and I couldn’t begin to retell her story as she did. If you’re pressed for time at least watch THIS amazing video that tells her story.

So rewind many years…..Long story shortened a bit, I gave my life to Jesus as a child and experienced my childhood as a growing Christian with a strong foundation at home. I loved to be in church, learn more about Him and surround myself by others who felt the same way. I vowed to continue in my faith and planned to only grow closer to him. I also prayed about my choices and mostly made the choices that seemed to honor Him. Never did I imagine things would be any different for me. I dreamed of going to college, meeting a strong Christian man, starting a family and living happily ever after. Well…those of you who know me know that things didn’t exactly work out that way. As I moved away from the strong foundation I grew up in I quickly began to drift away from God.

So here I am 13 year later….returned home from my trip….kids safely in bed. Angie had recommended a few different versions of the Bible that she enjoys so I picked one of them up at Mardel’s. Still carrying grief for her sweet soul…I prayed and prayed and prayed. I began to study God’s word. I looked forward to that evening time after the kids were in bed and I could have quiet time. We had recently started attending a local church as a family….I counted down the days until Sunday came. One evening I began reading in I John. I quickly began to remember the words that I once memorized…at one point I could recite the whole book (yes…I know it’s only 5 chapters).

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” I John 1:9

There is was….in black and white. It was there, that night, which it became reality to me that the forgiving God I knew as a child is the same forgiving God today. Yes, I made poor choices. After all I’ve been divorced. God wanted to forgive me for straying away and making choices in life that did not honor him. I just needed to ASK.
I’ve been through so many battles over the last several years…all in which I knew God was there for me but my relationship wasn’t where it really needed to be. I didn’t truly trust Him…I didn’t give it all to Him….I tried to keep it in and handle it all on my own.

Thank you God for not giving up on me. Thank you for allowing me to remarry and trusting me with my three precious blessings. Thank you for the wisdom and courage that you give me to be the mom that I need to be.

Lastly, back to the reason for this post THANK YOU ANGIE!!!
Thank you for opening your heart…
For sharing your life with so many….
For your willingness to let us into a space that is so private.
For your faith in HIM.

Your precious Audrey Caroline will never be forgotten because of the time you have taken to use her life to lead others to HIM.